Airline removes life vests to lighten planes

[sn26567]

An official with Air Canada'ss regional carrier Jazz says the airline is removing life vests from all its planes to save weight and fuel.

Transport Canada regulations allow airlines to use flotation devices instead of life vests, provided the planes remain within 50 miles of shore.

Safety cards in the seat pockets of Jazz aircraft now direct passengers to use the seat cushions as flotation devices.

FULL STORY from CNN

[luchtzak]

This is a strange cost reduction

[JayBeeke]

Their planes do indeed always remain at most 50 mi of shore, it's a pure intra-American airline...

Cheers
JJN

[galaxy]

Some suggestions on how airlines could trim the weight of their planes, er, and passengers :

• Ban all food and drink on the plane. It's peanuts, anyway.

• Dump the co-pilot on each flight. God is our co-pilot.

• No more checked luggage; it all goes by truck.

• Get rid of all the seat backs. Instead, use ottomans with seat belts.

• Remove the beverage/food carts and have flight attendants throw items at the passengers. Without the seat backs (see above), this will be a breeze.

• Take out the seats completely and turn plane cabins into standing-room-only mosh pits.

• Passengers pay by the pound of their own weight. (Now that would get Americans to slim down.)

• No shirt, no shoes gets passengers a discount. Extra-special deals for those who fly naked.



• All bladders must be empty; go-before-you-go will be mandatory at special jetway restrooms.

• Remove the waste-holding tanks on the plane and convert the toilets into sky-high outhouses.

• Headphones will be provided; however, for one ear only — your choice of ear.

• Bald people get priority when a flight is overbooked. Big-hair people are the last to get a seat.

• Want to read? No hardbacks permitted; paperbacks must be less than 100 pages. • No sugar or cream with coffee, no ice, no stir sticks, no napkins. Wipe your mouths on your sleeves. • Only three pets allowed per flight. Fights between animals will determine which gets on board.

• Remove all carpeting, pillow and blankets. Throw out the seat-back trays; there's nothing worth eating, anyway, and a laptop is, after all, designed for your lap.

• Only small talk on the plane. No "heavy" conversations.

[sn26567]

Some suggestions on how airlines could trim the weight of their planes, er, and passengers :

Very good

[HighInTheSky]

Hilarious But, as someone said in another topic, sssht!!! Ryanair might hear you

[BelgianBoy]

Why wouldn't remove seats and request passengers to sit on the ground?

lately, I spotted a SD-3 at Spa without seats, all passengers sitting on the floor, with two of them sitting next to the door with legs hanging out.

[Ozzie1969]

Why not drill holes in the floor and let the passengers' legs dangle out? That would eliminate the need for an undercarriage. Flintstone Airlines!!!

[RC20]

Hey guys, lets put this in perspective.

Alaska Airlines years ago did the same thing (and I believe all other US airlines).

Life vests do cost money to maintain, people steal them. And when was the last time a jet airliner went into the drink? Ok, lets change that, when was the last time they went into the water and it was survivable?

Only one I can think of was in Africa somewhere (Maybe I am thinking of two). Both close to shore and vests were not an issue.

I didn’t like it when I first heard of it, growing up where I did it was mandatory you wore them anywhere on or even close to the water and it was like loosing my security blanket.

That said, I got use to it. Also keep in mind, even an open ocean ditching (we will probably get one someday with two engine aircraft doing those long over ocean flights) surviving it with a jetliner is ?????????? Very likely to breakup and disintegrate . Not nice, but there are risks in flying (and does anyone carry a vest with them in their car, despite the fact that there have been more car related water drowning than aircraft related ones?

[earthman]

and does anyone carry a vest with them in their car, despite the fact that there have been more car related water drowning than aircraft related ones?

First of all, car drownings are due to people not being able to get out of the car when it lands in the water, not due to lack of a life vest. It is nearly impossible to open the windows of your car when it's under water and there is still air inside. A recent episode of myth busters investigated this. It is therefore advisable to have a safety hammer in your car, and this is considered important safety equipment. Then again, I guess there is no point in having one if you only drive around in a desert.

Second, even relatively there are more car related deaths than aircraft related deaths anyway, but we all know that.