Skybus rules of flying; this is NOT a joke

[CXRules]

THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!!

As you may already know, there is a new low-cost carrier starting up in the USA. No, I'm not talking about Virgin America, but Skybus. And on their website, they have an interesting Rules of Flying:

Source: http://ask.skybus.com/about/rules-of-flying.shtml

The Skybus Rules of Flying
(A.K.A. How we keep our tickets so darn cheap.)
1. Don’t pay for everyone else’s baggage.
On Skybus, you pay only for what you check. The first two bags are 5 bucks apiece. After that, it’s $50 a bag (yeah, so pack smartly). Less baggage means faster turnaround and cheaper tickets. Fair deal?

2. Hungry? Thirsty? Bring cash.
Most people love our full cocktail bar and food menu, but if you’re not into that, it won’t cost you a penny. Why should your ticket cost include your neighbor’s dinner? That also goes for blankets and pillows–which, by the way, you get to keep if you buy. Oh, and don’t sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane.

3. Bring a book.
We’re not big fans of fancy in-flight entertainment systems. So grab that best seller at the airport, or buy a Sudoku puzzle onboard if you’re feeling brainy. You’ll touch down before you know it.

4. Don’t call us.
We don’t have a phone number. Seriously. We’d love to chat, but those phone banks are expensive. And a good website like skybus.com is even more convenient.

5. Don’t be late. We won’t be.
Please arrive no later than 30 minutes before takeoff, or we’ll leave without you. Really. By that time, there won’t even be anyone to check your bag. It’s nothing against you–we just have to keep our flights on time, or things get expensive in a hurry.

6. Don’t expect an army of gate agents.
You probably won’t see any agents at the gate until boarding time. Remain calm! Just print your boarding pass at skybus.com and relish in the savings.

7. Yeah, we’ve got preferred seats. Sort of.
There are no fancy reclining beds onboard, but you can pay 10 bucks extra to board our brand-new A319 airplanes before anyone else.

8. Tickets are nonrefundable.
Refunding a ticket costs everyone, so we don’t allow it. Of course, our tickets are so cheap it wouldn’t have been much of a refund anyway. If you need to change a ticket, your punishment for breaking a date with us is $40.

9. Bigger is not better.
Big airports can be a big pain. We choose less crowded and more convenient secondary airports for better punctuality and, of course, lower prices.

10. No spontaneous dancing in the aisle.
We realize you might be excited about paying a ridiculously low fare, but please refrain from any unbridled dancing onboard. This includes jumping for joy, disruptive cheering, and celebratory break dancing.

[Stij]

Hey they stole the Ryanair rules!

Cheers,

Stij

[airazurxtror]

Why would it be a joke ?
They are about the usual rules for most LCC.

[earthman]

WTF they don't allow you to bring your own food on board??

[chunk]

I like the attitude. Seems quite honest in a market that specialises in bulls*it more than anywhere else! I mean if AA can still advertise how great they are then there is something smelling....

As for not bringing on your own food.....i can see reasons for it. And have experienced them too. Imagine big smelly bloke walking onto plane with big smelly Big Mac and Extra large trough of fries stinking out your area of the cabin for a two hour flight and then recycling it through the rest of the cabin. No no no. It's happened and it is unpleasant. How about changing the rule to say no HOT food? That should remove the smell issue in general?

[Acid-drop]

they just say the right thing in a non formal way.
That's completely fine for 90% of the low cost customers.

[SN30952]

Imagine big smelly bloke walking onto plane with big smelly......

Should be rule 11:
Passengers weighing over 90 kilos will be charged 5 Euros/bucks for each kilo over.
And rule 12:
Passengers weighing >119 kilos should only be allowed on board, when they have paid for two seats.

Do not shoot at the messenger, when I said 30 years ago, smoking should be forbidden on board, many told me that would never be forbidden.
There were even ashtrays in the toilets, then. But when they started forbidding smoking there, there was hope, that it would be forbidden all over the plane. And it happened, so don't shoot!

Heavy mammals pollute more, that has been tested scientifically.
Btw, Californian dairy cows, not cars, are the biggest single source of smog-forming gases. (Please read the first comment in the link, too)

[David747]

I want Skybus to succeed, and what CXrules pulled from their site sounds like somewhat like the rules of most LCC's. But I do question the viability of this airline with limited routes, especially when other LCC like Southwest offer more routes. Personally, Skybus will stay around, but I only give them a year before they bite the dust.

[chunk]

Should be rule 11:
Passengers weighing over 90 kilos will be charged 5 Euros/bucks for each kilo over.
And rule 12:
Passengers weighing >119 kilos should only be allowed on board, when they have paid for two seats.

Bit harsh. I am definately over 90 kilos, but I am also very tall and certainly don;t encroach on anyones space. Do I get fined? Does that mean we are being prejudiced against bigger people (not necessarily fatter?). Not sure the courts will go with that.

SMoking was easy as that can hurt other people...being large is sometimes not the fault of the individual and even if it is, it is usually them that suffers the most damage - not the otehr 300 people on the plane. Unless you are sat next to them of course....

[SN30952]

Unless you are sat next to them of course....

Or allow to pool the weights: bring along one small adult.

[vc-10]

And people like me who do a lot of sport are often over 90kg... I'm 'light' at 80kg for a rower...

[CXRules]

Another interesting article:

Ngihtmare at 30,000 feet

Just what the airline industry needed: Flight attendants on
commission.

There's no such thing as a free lunch--especially on Skybus Airlines,
a carrier starting service in late May. Sure, you can get a $10 fare
to travel one way from Columbus, Ohio to such cities as Los Angeles,
Fort Lauderdale and Boston.

But you'll pay in peace and quiet. Skybus flight attendants will be
hawking not only food and water but also such sundries as suntan
lotion and jewelry to an extremely captive market. And the attendants
will have incentives aplenty to tap you on the shoulder. Paid only $9
an hour, or $16,000 a year, they'll get a 10% commission on any
merchandise sold in this flying souk. (Pilots, paid $75,000, don't
get a cut, but we can only imagine the infomercial- like
announcements. )

"If the flight attendants could sell real estate onboard, we would do
it," jokes Skybus Chief Executive William Diffenderffer, 56, who says
the list of items for sale is going to get longer.

Skybus is a knockoff of Irish ultradiscounter Ryanair (nasdaq: RYAAY -
news - people ). Every Skybus flight has at least ten seats priced
at $10. Fares go up after that, averaging half that of competitors' .

Low fares demand spartan operations. There are no phone numbers to
call and few employees. If you want to complain, use e-mail or go to
the airport. Flights can be booked only on Skybus' Internet site.
Airport kiosks are used for check-in. Fliers pay for everything: $5
per bag to check two bags, $10 for priority boarding, $10 to buy a
pillow or blanket.

And Diffenderffer will turn his 18 Airbus A319 jets (by the end of
2008) into advertisements you can't miss. Companies such as insurer
Nationwide will pay $500,000 annually to paste messages on the jet's
outside, interior lavatory doors, seat-back trays, bulkheads and
overhead storage containers.

Diffenderffer figures Skybus can generate up to 15% of its revenue
through advertising and in-flight sales. That will no doubt please
his backers (Fidelity, Morgan Stanley (nyse: MS - news - people ) and
Julian Robertson's Tiger Management), who chipped in $160 million.
The sleepy flier is another matter.

Source: http://members.forbes.com/forbes/2007/0604/056.html

[chunk]

Have Ryanair staff not been on commission for a while selling those stupid scratch cards on board. You know the ones that they proudly announce a percentage goes to charity? Aye, about 0.00000000001% maybe.

[Old Nickname - VG]

WTF they don't allow you to bring your own food on board??

whats so weird about that?

if you go to australia its just the same for flies that eat all the harvest

more airlines are using this
and also its a little profit when they buy food from the airline

gr,
lv 8)

[regi]

what happens if you start to eat your own sandwich on board? Do they return? Or do you get a fine? But a company cannot fine you, they have to go to court. And there is no aviation rule/law been broken. So, to every sky bus passenger : bring in your food guys!

[SN30952]

what happens if you start to eat your own sandwich on board? Do they return? Or do you get a fine? But a company cannot fine you, they have to go to court. And there is no aviation rule/law been broken. So, to every sky bus passenger : bring in your food guys!

Not an international law anyway. But maybe a domestic, in US commercial flights?
But it is also forbidden to eat on NMBS trains, but they sell food.
In other words they cannot forbid the passengers to eat or drink, otherwise they cannot sell their own stuff...

But bringing fluids on board aint allowed.
And some cheese may look like C-4.

On the other hand imagine the guy from Herve who starts eating his cheese and bread over these ocean at 6PM....

Although it was not exceptional that in earlier days on Hdaj flights the pelgrims wanted to ignite a camping gas to start cooking their Halal food. This a true story, it happened more than once on Sabena B707's, that were chartered for these Hadj flights....

[b-west]

I don't think it's forbidden to eat on the train. If I remember correctly they even had an advertising campaign saying "can I eat on the train" with some supposedly funny reply.

Anyway, (semi)public transport companies overhere can use special security agents who can give you an administrative fine, which, if you don't pay, can get you into (civil) court.

But considering Skybus is a commercial non-public airline, I don't really see how they'll enforce the no-food rule. They could ofcourse deny you to fly them again...

[fokker_f27]

Wow, they're actually being honest!

I agree with Earthman on that it's strange that they don't allow you to bring your own food. I can understand WHY they would do that, but it still sounds like a rude thing to do.

[vueling]

A fine is related to the penal aspect. Obviously, eating in a plane is not forbidden by any law, and cannot be subject of a fine.

However, the forbiden of food in the Skybus plane is a contractual obligation wich both skybus and the custumer (when he purchase the ticket) agree. Therefore, theorically, if a customer eat in the plane, Skybus can ask him a compensation in front of a civil juridiction for the dammage that the company has suffered, caused by the non respect of a contractuel obligation by the client.

[airazurxtror]

The Skybus Rules of Flying
(A.K.A. How we keep our tickets so darn cheap.)

2. Hungry? Thirsty? Bring cash.
Oh, and don’t sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane.

To bring food onboard is not actually forbidden : you can bring some - as they say : if you have enough for the whole plane, which obviously is a joke.