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Aviation Humor
Funniest things one observed while flying in other countries
1/ The fastest passengers get the best seats at Tunis Airport
2/ Dead pigs on board in Africa, and they don't have to pay for
an extra seat
3/ Clapping when a plane lands -- on European charters and
Russian flights
4/ Bribing a gate agent to get a seat when the plane is not full in Africa
5/ Lack of the concept of lining up in many many places
6/ Did you know in Japan vacationers rent luggage so they don't have it
wasting precious space in their homes for the rest of the year
7/ Passengers who furnish their homes with on-board amenities
8/ In flight Entertainment consisted of Flight Attendants Playing Bingo
on board a flight to Venezuela from Miami
9/ A Chairman Mao Tie Pin given as a gift for flying on this airline
1/ The fastest passengers get the best seats at Tunis Airport
2/ Dead pigs on board in Africa, and they don't have to pay for
an extra seat
3/ Clapping when a plane lands -- on European charters and
Russian flights
4/ Bribing a gate agent to get a seat when the plane is not full in Africa
5/ Lack of the concept of lining up in many many places
6/ Did you know in Japan vacationers rent luggage so they don't have it
wasting precious space in their homes for the rest of the year
7/ Passengers who furnish their homes with on-board amenities
8/ In flight Entertainment consisted of Flight Attendants Playing Bingo
on board a flight to Venezuela from Miami
9/ A Chairman Mao Tie Pin given as a gift for flying on this airline
Anecdotes from a British Air Traffic Controller
The first was overheard by the stewardess on approach into LHR. The First officer had come on the intercom to tell the passengers that if they looked out of the window they would see Windsor Castle, to which an American Lady remarked to her partner "What a silly place to build a castle - so close to Heathrow Airport".
I also heard another story whilst I was working at MAN airport, but this is very grim. A family showed up to check in their grandmother for a flight with Pakistan International to ISB and requested a wheelchair to take her to the aircraft.The airline keen to help out provided this for them and the lady was checked in. The family advised the check-in agent that the elderly grandmother was felling unwell and was very tired.This the agent thought was nothing too out of the ordinary and then off the family went. It was only on reaching the security search point, when the staff went to check the woman that they realised she was in actual fact dead !. It turned out that the family were trying to send her home to Pakistan for burial, but since the cost of airfreighting the dead body in a lead lined coffin was so great - they had come up with the idea of sending her as a normal passenger as the ticket was cheaper ( and she only needed a one way)!.
Another story happened only a couple of months ago at LHR when a Malasian Airlines 747-400 was on start up on it's way to KUL. The aircraft had been on the ground for most of the day before setting out on it's return journey back to KUL, and due to this was doing whats called a 'wet start' (which is basically like pulling out the choke on a car when the engine is cold) this causes alot of smoke to come out of the engines (and sometimes a small flame) when the fuel ignites. A passenger sat next to one of the emergency exits (behind the engines) noticed this and before the crew could stop him - he had flung open the door and was half way down the chute with another 10 or so passengers behind him who too had thought that the aircraft was about to explode into flames. This caused a 12 hour delay to the flight whilst a new chute was flown in and fitted to the aircraft, and also gave the startup guy a heart attack when he saw all these people flying down the chute right behind the engines which had just been started.
Submitted by Lee Greaves Aircraft Despatcher, British Midland, LHR
The first was overheard by the stewardess on approach into LHR. The First officer had come on the intercom to tell the passengers that if they looked out of the window they would see Windsor Castle, to which an American Lady remarked to her partner "What a silly place to build a castle - so close to Heathrow Airport".
I also heard another story whilst I was working at MAN airport, but this is very grim. A family showed up to check in their grandmother for a flight with Pakistan International to ISB and requested a wheelchair to take her to the aircraft.The airline keen to help out provided this for them and the lady was checked in. The family advised the check-in agent that the elderly grandmother was felling unwell and was very tired.This the agent thought was nothing too out of the ordinary and then off the family went. It was only on reaching the security search point, when the staff went to check the woman that they realised she was in actual fact dead !. It turned out that the family were trying to send her home to Pakistan for burial, but since the cost of airfreighting the dead body in a lead lined coffin was so great - they had come up with the idea of sending her as a normal passenger as the ticket was cheaper ( and she only needed a one way)!.
Another story happened only a couple of months ago at LHR when a Malasian Airlines 747-400 was on start up on it's way to KUL. The aircraft had been on the ground for most of the day before setting out on it's return journey back to KUL, and due to this was doing whats called a 'wet start' (which is basically like pulling out the choke on a car when the engine is cold) this causes alot of smoke to come out of the engines (and sometimes a small flame) when the fuel ignites. A passenger sat next to one of the emergency exits (behind the engines) noticed this and before the crew could stop him - he had flung open the door and was half way down the chute with another 10 or so passengers behind him who too had thought that the aircraft was about to explode into flames. This caused a 12 hour delay to the flight whilst a new chute was flown in and fitted to the aircraft, and also gave the startup guy a heart attack when he saw all these people flying down the chute right behind the engines which had just been started.
Submitted by Lee Greaves Aircraft Despatcher, British Midland, LHR
Here I am adding one:
On a trip to Tampa, FL, the woman to my right was shaking and
drinking a lot of booze out of her purse. I asked her if she was
okay and she said, "I am TERRIFIED of airplanes and I haven't
been on one my entire life. If my brother hadn't died so
suddenly I wouldn't be here now. With my luck this thing will
drop out of the sky."
She started to cry from all of her anxiety.
The passenger on my left sits down and she is no better shape,
shaking and looking around like the devil was after her. She
actually asked the woman to my right if she could share her
bottle, which she did. I asked her if she was also afraid of flying.
She said, "Oh, not at all, it's just that I am so late in getting to
Tampa to see my lawyer. If I'm not there on time I lose a LOT
of money from the settlement we worked out from when I was in a
plane crash."
The stewardess came over to console the passenger to my right,
and stayed with her. What a doll.
63
On a trip to Tampa, FL, the woman to my right was shaking and
drinking a lot of booze out of her purse. I asked her if she was
okay and she said, "I am TERRIFIED of airplanes and I haven't
been on one my entire life. If my brother hadn't died so
suddenly I wouldn't be here now. With my luck this thing will
drop out of the sky."
She started to cry from all of her anxiety.
The passenger on my left sits down and she is no better shape,
shaking and looking around like the devil was after her. She
actually asked the woman to my right if she could share her
bottle, which she did. I asked her if she was also afraid of flying.
She said, "Oh, not at all, it's just that I am so late in getting to
Tampa to see my lawyer. If I'm not there on time I lose a LOT
of money from the settlement we worked out from when I was in a
plane crash."
The stewardess came over to console the passenger to my right,
and stayed with her. What a doll.
63
May I add my contribution?
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Last edited by sn26567 on 27 Oct 2003, 16:30, edited 1 time in total.
André
ex Sabena #26567
ex Sabena #26567
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vliegtuigfreak
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Re: Aviation Humor
Welcome MartinL!
And thank you for the smiles you brought to our faces!
VFlies
Re: Aviation Humor
British humour by Richard Branson:
"There are no baby planes because Virgin always pulls out on time. Ask your mother to explain..."
http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/b ... ut-on-time
"There are no baby planes because Virgin always pulls out on time. Ask your mother to explain..."
http://www.virgin.com/richard-branson/b ... ut-on-time
André
ex Sabena #26567
ex Sabena #26567