Stupid Questions and Comments
Today I was dumb-founded with what I heard. I came inside the terminal off the ramp to check the weight restrictions on US3007 to IND. The boarding area was packed with passengers. I was making my way through to the counter when I asked a man standing in line to check in if I could get by. He looked at me for a quick second (He had to notice that I was in Ramp Uniform) and resonded: "There's a line here buddy!" Did he think that I was going to stand in it?
Reminds me of an old joke: in communist Poland, there were always long lines to stores.
A man is trying to get to the store, past the line.
- Sorry, could you let me through.
- No, get in the line.
This continues for a little bit. Finally the man says "well screw you all, I won't open the store then!"
A man is trying to get to the store, past the line.
- Sorry, could you let me through.
- No, get in the line.
This continues for a little bit. Finally the man says "well screw you all, I won't open the store then!"
As a flight attendant I also encounter the most ridiculous and enervating things.
During service:
* "Coffee or tea, sir?" - "Yes"
* "Would you like some coffee, sir?" (while having a tray in one hand and the coffee pot in the other hand) - "No, tea" (while putting his cup on my tray) -> like I can magically change what is in my coffee pot!
* If I start in flemish by asking 'Thee, alstublieft' (cfr. 'Tea, please'), a lot of French speaking Belgians will look at me like I am speaking Chinese and then they will say with a arrogant smile on their face: "En français?" (cfr. 'In french?')
Note: the word for tea 'Thee' in flemish and 'Thé' in French are pronounced exactely the same way.
And then I have to stay calm and relaxed...
* Because we have mixed pax (partly flemish, partly french speaking) I always ask every pax in both languages what they would like to drink, and add a polite please to it (cfr. aub and svp). More and more often the pax won't even let me finish my sentence, interrupt me and just order:
"Coke". Where has politeness gone off to? No more please and thanks nowadays...
*If I have been serving the 4 rows ahead already, standing in the aisle with my trolley loaded with soft drink bottles and I come up to the next row, there will always be at least one pax that will look at me like I am an alien.
If then I ask in Flemish first what he/she would like to drink, I can see him/her think 'what the f**k does she want'.
What could I possibly want? I mean, I have been serving every passenger around you with drinks, my hands are stuck to the coke bottle and the plastic drink cups, but what could I possibly want from you?
Those are things that run through my mind at that point.
*The same situation: I have been serving every row in the vicinity, then get up to that certain row, where a passenger has just had about 15 minutes to figure out what he's going to drink. Still he manages to ask me: 'What do you have?'
Note: the drinks are in big 1.5L bottles ON TOP OF the trolley, very well visible to all of the passengers.
At that point I would like to look at him like HE is an alien, but instead I exclaim for the so maniest time that day:
cokecokelightfantaspritewatersparklingwaterorangejuiceapplejuicetomatojuicecoffeeandtea
After not even a secont of thinking he finally orders an ordinary cup of water. <sigh sigh>
During boarding, a lot of people seem to manage to forget all of their reading skills.
There is a number on the boarding pass to indicate where they have to sit, a process they have never heard about. <sigh>
When I am moving the tenth pax that flight bacause he's sitting on someone else's seat, he asks me with anger in his voice: "Well then, you tell me where my seat is !"
Oh, please! Sure, I know by heart where every pax need to be seated!
After all I am wonderwoman you are flying with today!
Too bad we can't just take the boarding pass out of their chest pocket and yell "That's what this ticket is for, you dumb*ss!" Too, too bad!
And like this I can go on and on and on, for hours, even for days...
During service:
* "Coffee or tea, sir?" - "Yes"
* "Would you like some coffee, sir?" (while having a tray in one hand and the coffee pot in the other hand) - "No, tea" (while putting his cup on my tray) -> like I can magically change what is in my coffee pot!
* If I start in flemish by asking 'Thee, alstublieft' (cfr. 'Tea, please'), a lot of French speaking Belgians will look at me like I am speaking Chinese and then they will say with a arrogant smile on their face: "En français?" (cfr. 'In french?')
Note: the word for tea 'Thee' in flemish and 'Thé' in French are pronounced exactely the same way.
And then I have to stay calm and relaxed...* Because we have mixed pax (partly flemish, partly french speaking) I always ask every pax in both languages what they would like to drink, and add a polite please to it (cfr. aub and svp). More and more often the pax won't even let me finish my sentence, interrupt me and just order:
"Coke". Where has politeness gone off to? No more please and thanks nowadays...
*If I have been serving the 4 rows ahead already, standing in the aisle with my trolley loaded with soft drink bottles and I come up to the next row, there will always be at least one pax that will look at me like I am an alien.
If then I ask in Flemish first what he/she would like to drink, I can see him/her think 'what the f**k does she want'.
What could I possibly want? I mean, I have been serving every passenger around you with drinks, my hands are stuck to the coke bottle and the plastic drink cups, but what could I possibly want from you?
Those are things that run through my mind at that point.
*The same situation: I have been serving every row in the vicinity, then get up to that certain row, where a passenger has just had about 15 minutes to figure out what he's going to drink. Still he manages to ask me: 'What do you have?'
Note: the drinks are in big 1.5L bottles ON TOP OF the trolley, very well visible to all of the passengers.
At that point I would like to look at him like HE is an alien, but instead I exclaim for the so maniest time that day:
cokecokelightfantaspritewatersparklingwaterorangejuiceapplejuicetomatojuicecoffeeandtea
After not even a secont of thinking he finally orders an ordinary cup of water. <sigh sigh>
During boarding, a lot of people seem to manage to forget all of their reading skills.
There is a number on the boarding pass to indicate where they have to sit, a process they have never heard about. <sigh>
When I am moving the tenth pax that flight bacause he's sitting on someone else's seat, he asks me with anger in his voice: "Well then, you tell me where my seat is !"
Oh, please! Sure, I know by heart where every pax need to be seated!
After all I am wonderwoman you are flying with today!
Too bad we can't just take the boarding pass out of their chest pocket and yell "That's what this ticket is for, you dumb*ss!" Too, too bad!
And like this I can go on and on and on, for hours, even for days...
As a check in agent I can give you lot's of stupid questions and remarks. But there is just one thing that bothers me the most:
* I have a broken leg, can I sit at the emergency exit please? What do you think?
* No I can't check in my trolley (handluggage that was taken at check-in) because my medication is inside. The medication bag had the size of an enveloppe...
* What is the safest seat when something happens to the plane? ( Is there anny, please tell me if you know so I can inform the passengers )
*We check the passport at the gate. If the passenger in front of you has to show his ID What makes you think that you don't have to?
* One piece of handluggage --> how many is that???? JUST 1 PIECE, not two or three
- Families with small children come at the very last minute before the flight closes at check-in. It's a holiday right now, so all the flights are quiet full. Then we say that they can not be seated together and then you should see their faces. The scream and shout because it looks to them that they are right (and sometimes they say they are early (40 minutes before STD is very early in my opinion )). Then they sugest to change some seats because the children can not be separated from the parents. The don't understand that this is not funny for us to change sometimes more then 10 seats just because they are late. Passengers who come on time have to be punished because some families come to late. These situations, I really hate them, happen a few times a day.
- 16 kg's of handluggage is normal for some passengers, maximum is six plus size restrictions. Do they really think that they can move their house in the overhead lockers?????
- people who can not read when we do a boarding or people who don't bother to listen to the call we make (3 languages, don't tell me you don't understand at least one of them, but it can happen). Or people who just don't care to come on time to the gate. There is a boarding time mentionned on the boarding pass please respect it and come at the indicated time.
* I have a broken leg, can I sit at the emergency exit please? What do you think?
* No I can't check in my trolley (handluggage that was taken at check-in) because my medication is inside. The medication bag had the size of an enveloppe...
* What is the safest seat when something happens to the plane? ( Is there anny, please tell me if you know so I can inform the passengers
)*We check the passport at the gate. If the passenger in front of you has to show his ID What makes you think that you don't have to?
* One piece of handluggage --> how many is that???? JUST 1 PIECE, not two or three
You can tell them this maybe:* What is the safest seat when something happens to the plane? ( Is there anny, please tell me if you know so I can inform the passengers )
If you are seated in the front and the airplane is crashing into a hill, you will probably be with the first ones to hit it.
If you are seated in the back of the plane and it crashes into the ocean, you will be with the first ones to sink.
If you are seated near the wings and there's a fire concerning the fuel tanks, you will be with the first ones to be roasted.
If you sit between the wing seats and the last row, and the plane breaks up during a crash, the plane will probably brake up at these rows.
So, to be the safest, you should take a seat between row 5 and 10 (in a B737), but then again... if you go through all of this trouble to get the safest seat, preferably an aisle seat, you might survive the crash itself, only to find out that the front emergency exits are inoperable so that you would have to dig yourself a way to the overwing exits, which are on fire (cfr. fuel tanks), after which you need to climb over the other 160 pax to get to the back emergency exits, who are already under the water surface level.
Sterre, Thanks fir shareing with us. I love to hear that there is mad chaos all over the world.
*We have a bad storm that has hit the USA in the past few days cancelling flights. The most common responce is "When I get home I'm never flying this airline again!" Today i finally snaped and said "Why don't you start not flying it now?" Why because even though you make a scene you still have to get home, and for most US Airways is your only option out of CLT.
*We have a bad storm that has hit the USA in the past few days cancelling flights. The most common responce is "When I get home I'm never flying this airline again!" Today i finally snaped and said "Why don't you start not flying it now?" Why because even though you make a scene you still have to get home, and for most US Airways is your only option out of CLT.
This is slightly on topic - in any case in hindsight I find it humorous:
In 1998, I was flying LH Florence-MUC-AMS and the plane from Florence was late. They picked me and two other passengers up and brought us directly to the plane, which was somewhere on an out position. Once on board, I asked for a Dutch language newspaper (newspapers on board were at that time still perfectly standard even in economy class). I received a weird look before being told that, no, sorry, they didn't have Dutch language newspapers (surprising to me - on a flight to AMS). Shortly afterwards, one of the other two passengers asked what time the plane would arrive. The answer: so-and-so late, British time....
British time?! Turned out we had been brought to a plane for Manchester
In hindsight, I understand the airline staff's weird look. My question - on a plane to Manchester - should certainly qualify as stupid
To finish the story - they told us to get off and walk (unsupervised, surprisingly enough) to the plane next door. Not suprisingly, the staff of that plane had been frantically calling around where on earth we had disappeared to, as we had been reported as having been delivered to our plane...
The incident did dent my trust in LH a bit. At least I've never walked onto the wrong plane yet!
In 1998, I was flying LH Florence-MUC-AMS and the plane from Florence was late. They picked me and two other passengers up and brought us directly to the plane, which was somewhere on an out position. Once on board, I asked for a Dutch language newspaper (newspapers on board were at that time still perfectly standard even in economy class). I received a weird look before being told that, no, sorry, they didn't have Dutch language newspapers (surprising to me - on a flight to AMS). Shortly afterwards, one of the other two passengers asked what time the plane would arrive. The answer: so-and-so late, British time....
British time?! Turned out we had been brought to a plane for Manchester
In hindsight, I understand the airline staff's weird look. My question - on a plane to Manchester - should certainly qualify as stupid
To finish the story - they told us to get off and walk (unsupervised, surprisingly enough) to the plane next door. Not suprisingly, the staff of that plane had been frantically calling around where on earth we had disappeared to, as we had been reported as having been delivered to our plane...
The incident did dent my trust in LH a bit. At least I've never walked onto the wrong plane yet!