Aviation jokes & pictures
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- quixoticguide
- Posts: 1655
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 18:41
- Location: Pyongyang, DPRK
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Aviation jokes & pictures
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Re: Aviation jokes
How do you know someone is a pilot?
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Don't worry, (s)he'll tell you!
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Don't worry, (s)he'll tell you!
Re: Aviation jokes
How does a pilot commit suicide?
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(S)He climb on his / her ego and jumps off!
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(S)He climb on his / her ego and jumps off!
Re: Aviation jokes
welcome to this Lufthansa flight can you please close your seatbelts
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And I only want to hear one CLIC....!!!
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And I only want to hear one CLIC....!!!
Hasta la victoria siempre.
- quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes
An A380 pilot was bragging to a Boeing 747 pilot about how great his aircraft was and how wonderfully it flew. The Boeing pilot turned to the Airbus pilot with a smirk and said, "Well, at least my plane doesn't call me a retard every time I attempt to land it."
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- quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes
A US airline's crew overheard the following ATC exchange at MUC.
LH pilot (in German): "Ground, what's our start clearance time?"
MUC ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."
LH pilot (in English): "I am a German pilot flying for a German airline in Germany! Why must I speak English?"
Unknown British person in a nearly aircraft (in English): "Because you lost the bloody war."
LH pilot (in German): "Ground, what's our start clearance time?"
MUC ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."
LH pilot (in English): "I am a German pilot flying for a German airline in Germany! Why must I speak English?"
Unknown British person in a nearly aircraft (in English): "Because you lost the bloody war."
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- quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes
It's 1952 and A BOAC flight has landed at MUC and it's obvious that they're a bit lost. Tower has had to redirect them two or three times.
Tower (in thick German accent): BOAC, have you ever been to Munich before?
BOAC: Many times, but we never landed.
Tower (in thick German accent): BOAC, have you ever been to Munich before?
BOAC: Many times, but we never landed.
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- quixoticguide
- Posts: 1655
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 18:41
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Re: Aviation jokes
What separates flight attendants from the lowest form of life on earth?
The cockpit door.
The cockpit door.
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- quixoticguide
- Posts: 1655
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 18:41
- Location: Pyongyang, DPRK
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Re: Aviation jokes
What does ETOPS stand for ?
Engines Turning Or Passengers Swimming.
Engines Turning Or Passengers Swimming.
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Re: Aviation jokes
there was a joke about problem/maintenance reports, a little person with a hammer, maybe someone remembers.
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Re: Aviation jokes
Great idea !
A joke a day keeps the doctor away !
H.A.
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- Posts: 1517
- Joined: 24 Feb 2007, 18:28
- Location: 2300NM due South of North Pole
Re: Aviation jokes
Some like these you mean :KristofColumbus wrote: ↑16 Mar 2017, 17:33 there was a joke about problem/maintenance reports, a little person with a hammer, maybe someone remembers.
Entries into the logbook by the pilot and "fixes" by Mx.
Pilot : Something loose in the cockpit.
Mx : Something tightened in the cockpit.
Pilot : LH inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Mx : LH inside main tire almost replaced.
Pilot : Evidence of leak on landing gear.
Mx : Evidence removed.
Pilot : Dead bugs on windshield.
Mx : Fresh bugs ordered.
Pilot : DME volume unbelievably loud.
Mx : DME volume set to more believable level.
Pilot : Mouse in cockpit !
Mx : Cat on training.
Pilot : Aircraft behaves funny.
Mx : A/C told to fly straight and be serious.
....
Disclaimer :
1) all aviation jokes are REAL of course.
2) all above can be found in countless aviation forums.
H.A.
- quixoticguide
- Posts: 1655
- Joined: 23 Mar 2011, 18:41
- Location: Pyongyang, DPRK
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Re: Aviation jokes
Visit my flights on: http://www.quixoticguide.com
Re: Aviation jokes
There're many more, but these are to me the best...
BOAC Better On A Camel
TWA Try Walking *ssh*l*
TWA Terrorist World Airlines
Aer Lingus Air Fungus
AAL American is Always Late
ALITALIA Always Late In Take-Off, Always Late In Arrival
ALITALIA Aircraft Lands In Torino, All Luggage In Amsterdam
ALITALIA A Little Italian Tradition, A Lot of Italian Attitude
BA Bloody Awful
PIA Please Inform Allah
SABENA Such A Bad Experience Never Again
SAS Same as Sabena
Olympic Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash
Zambian Scairways
TAP Take A Parachute
THY They Hate You
DHL Damaged, Hidden or Lost
BOAC Better On A Camel
TWA Try Walking *ssh*l*
TWA Terrorist World Airlines
Aer Lingus Air Fungus
AAL American is Always Late
ALITALIA Always Late In Take-Off, Always Late In Arrival
ALITALIA Aircraft Lands In Torino, All Luggage In Amsterdam
ALITALIA A Little Italian Tradition, A Lot of Italian Attitude
BA Bloody Awful
PIA Please Inform Allah
SABENA Such A Bad Experience Never Again
SAS Same as Sabena
Olympic Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash
Zambian Scairways
TAP Take A Parachute
THY They Hate You
DHL Damaged, Hidden or Lost
Re: Aviation jokes
Alternative facts
SAS Sex and Satisfaction
TAP Take another plane
and then
LUFTHANSA Let us f*ck the hostess, are no stewards available...
André
ex Sabena #26567
ex Sabena #26567