Aviation jokes & pictures

A forum to discuss all aviation items (not for latest aviation news and military aviation news)

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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 19 Apr 2017, 11:38

United: You Can't Beat Our Service Because We'll Always Beat You First
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KristofColumbus
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Joined: 06 May 2003, 00:00
Location: Zaventem

Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by KristofColumbus » 09 May 2017, 18:15

Was Sabena not :
Sex and Booze Every Night Again ?

Homo Aeroportus
Posts: 670
Joined: 24 Feb 2007, 18:28
Location: 2300NM due South of North Pole

Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by Homo Aeroportus » 16 May 2017, 17:53

ABC123 cleared on departure to FL080 and soon after :

ATCO : ABC123 cleared to FL300 and report on 123.45
ABC123 : ABC123 climbing to FL300, will report on 123.45. Wow, that was quick.
ATCO : Always is Sir.
ABC123 : Oh poor girl. Give me her number.

;)


Back to the old days of tension with Cuba, an Aeroflot heavy transiting Irish space :
Centre : AFL123, do you carry transponder.
AFL123 : Negative, we only carry agricultural equipment.

H.A.

Homo Aeroportus
Posts: 670
Joined: 24 Feb 2007, 18:28
Location: 2300NM due South of North Pole

Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by Homo Aeroportus » 16 May 2017, 18:08

An A300 ST Beluga bound for EGNR, Hawarden UK checking in :

"Hello Hawarden this is Super Transporter 5 leaving FL300 with information Mike".
ATCO : Bonsoir Super Transporter 5, this is Super Controller speaking.

:lol:

H.A.

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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 17 May 2017, 13:05

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”
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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 17 May 2017, 13:10

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 17 May 2017, 13:11

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 17 May 2017, 13:25

Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
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quixoticguide
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Re: Aviation jokes & pictures

Post by quixoticguide » 06 Sep 2017, 21:35

Q.: How do you become a millionaire?
A.: Start with a billion. Then buy an airline :D
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